I Will Wait

Along with Pinterest I also really love Etsy. I am so surprised and saddened that more people don't know about Etsy and if you don't, you've come to the right place. Etsy is a sort of e-commerce website where people can sell handmade items and all things crafty. I have bought a chain, a necklace, fabric and notions for my designs and a ring on etsy. I have been very satisfied with all of it. My post today is to showcase the ring I bought. I have owned two purity rings in my life, both of which I have lost. This was my third attempt at buying one but this final time I went about it a little differently.

My understanding of a purity ring was that it had two main purposes.
1. To be a sign of your commitment to remain pure and abstinent until your wedding day.
2. To remind you of this promise, especially in times of struggle and temptation.

Well, by the time I was ready to buy my third ring, I felt neither of those purposes applied to me anymore. I didn't need a ring to be a sign of this commitment. I knew I was commited to this, anyone who knew me knew I was committed to this, and anyone who didn't know me would surely see this by my lifestyle. An expensive but pretty piece of metal was unessecary. Second, since the first time I made the decision and commitment to remain pure, I never experienced a situation that lead to a time of struggle or temptation in that respect. Needless to say, something to remind me of that decision has not been very high on my priority list.

However, there was and still is something I struggle with every day: waiting for what the Lord has in store for me, particularly in regards to a man. I struggle with the idea that my goal in life is to find a spouse, and when that happens I will be finally fulfilled, satisfied and happy. However, not only will getting married NOT satisfy and fulfill my deepest desires, but it is also very possible that I will never get married--it is not guaranteed.

THEN I saw this incredible video by the brilliant spoken word artist Janette-Ikz and it has changed my life and given me so much hope and courage. It is hilarious and so true.

Thus the desire for my "I will wait" ring. I had the ring custom made from this shop on Etsy.

The outside reads "AMDG" which stands for Ad majorem Dei gloria, which in latin means "For the Greater Glory of God." On the inside it reads "I will wait."

This ring is a reminder to first give Glory to God, in all times, good and bad, and all seasons of my life. The second reminder is to wait for God's timing for all things, and for His Will to be done, not mine. This is my biggest daily struggle, not remaining pure.

So I challenge you, it may not be a ring, but set something in place to remind you daily to give Glory to God in all things, but also for His continued help in your struggles.

Letters to the President: My Dreams as a Daughter

This is a response to the video "Letters to the President: The Dreams of our Daughters."

Dear President Obama,

I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a granddaughter and a friend. I am also a student at a private university.

Before pursuing my current dream of becoming a fashion designer, I dreamed of being a fire fighter, a professional singer, a WNBA star, and yes, even president.

Because I am neither ready nor willing to be faced with the possible outcomes of being sexually active--whether that be the level of intimacy that comes with this practice, an STI or a new life, I have exercised my right as a woman to remain abstinent until the day when my situation would allow or welcome those possible outcomes. For this reason, I will not and never plan to use birth control.

I would also strongly urge all other women to re-think their use of contraceptives. They are harmful on your body, the environment, and even your relationships. I am just lookin' out for my sistas.

If I were to make the decision to use birth control, I would not and could not expect my school or employer to pay for my personal decision, especially if it went against the conscience and longstanding teaching of that institution. These harmful drugs are neither the same price, for the same purpose, nor as common as cough medicine. 

If, and God-willing when, I have a daughter of my own, I want to be ready and fully willing to give her the life she deserves, in a country where women and girls are dignified and held as precious and where freedom of religion is a given. 

Please, Mr. President, don't you want the same for your daughters?

Neon and Standards

In sunny St. Paul today it got up to 92 degrees, and tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter. Thanks August...

tank: h&m, necklace: thrifted, shorts: j. crew, flats: j. crew

It is amazing how the word "modesty" can have so many diverse meanings to so many people, loaded with passion and emotion, anger, disgust, solace and joy. It is also amazing how time, age, experiences and acquaintances can drastically change one's view and definition of a word. I am one such person who has had a change of heart so to speak. 

I was the stereotypical high schooler who thought she knew EVERYTHING. "Man, God has just gifted me with the special knowledge and wisdom to know exactly what modesty means, and anyone who really cares about modesty and their faith will have the exact same way of practicing this 'virtue'." WOW, how naive and ignorant can a person be?!

I just watched the movie "There Be Dragons" which is about St. Josemaria Escriva and the persecution of the Church in Spain. There was a line he said that really spoke to me. Josemaria's brother was asking how a true Catholic would proceed in the persecution of the Church, would he fight back or be a martyr? Josemaria responded that God has given each man reason, intellect and freedom to be able to make moral decisions based on his knowledge, and that he will be responsible for those decisions. How beautiful! There is no cookie cutter way for a woman to live out and practice modesty. She can practice her reason and free will to live out her modesty in the best and most true way she can.

So how do I practice modesty? It will undoubtedly vary from other women, but I have a couple rules I usually like to follow.

1. No butts, guts or coconuts. 'Nuf said.

2. I like to wear straps that are at least 1-inch wide, that way all undergarments are concealed and I know my top or dress will not fall down.

3. If a shirt is so tight that one can see the contours of my not-so-flat abs, no thanks.

4. I don't wear knit pants/shorts/leggings/skirts/spandex. Too clingy.

5. I have found that I like shorts that have a 7in. inseam. They are just most comfortable for me. However, I do own a couple 5in. inseam shorts, they just ride up a little when I sit down.

6. It's hard to have a rule about skirts/dress lengths because lots of things need to be factored in: the flare of the skirt, the fabric of the skirt, if leggings/tights are being worn underneath, and what shoes are being warn. A sure test, however, is if my skirt is shorter than the biking shorts I wear underneath it, it's got to go.

These many factors are going to vary greatly between women because of cultural standards, the way you were raised, personal comfortability, your height (or lack thereof), etc.

Perhaps most important of all, though, is the way a woman carries herself- in speech, conduct, and thought. While the body must not be neglected, neither can the soul.

Grandma Helen

Grandma Helen, December 2011

My grandma is one funny lady. She always seems to bring joy and laughter wherever she goes. Because of her increasingly old age (you will note the '90' candles on the birthday cake above), she has a tendency to only remember very small pieces of what you tell her, and she harps on those tiny bits of information incessantly.

For example, I took John Bosco as my patron saint at confirmation, and she has never forgotten it. Every time she sees me, and multiple times throughout our visits she will call me by my full name, "Catherine Victoria John Bosco." As you can imagine, that would get real old real fast, and somewhat embarrassing depending on the surroundings. Similarly, at one point we told her about our long time parish priest passing away. That evening she mentioned it every ten minutes:

          "I heard Fr. Reiser died!"

          "Did I hear Fr. Reiser died?"

          "How is Fr. Reiser doing?"

          "I think someone died but I can't remember who..."

Finally, four years ago my sister cut my hair for the first and last time. Every time I have seen my grandma since, she asks "Did you get your hair cut? Did Audrey do it?" Even if I hadn't gotten it cut.

Needless to say, dealing with her memory loss takes a lot of patience, patience that I definitely have not always practiced. However, a turn of events occurred yesterday when I visited my grandma in the hospital after she had a stroke on Sunday. She was just lying in her bed, so helpless. I hardly recognized her because she didn't have her teeth in. At first I didn't even know if she recognized us, it just seemed as if she was staring up at us blankly. After we said hello, and introduced ourselves, we talked and asked questions, but her only responses were "yeah" and "okay."

What happened to my grandma? This wasn't her! "Come back! Ask me about Fr. Reiser! Call me by my full name! Ask about my new hair cut!" I found myself wishing she would ask me her repeated questions. I then realized I had totally taken my grandma for granted, and now it was hitting me that she may be close to the end. As we were leaving her room, we said our goodbyes. We told her we would be back soon, and she mumbled her trademark "Okie doke" and blew us a kiss and waved. That's my grandma, alright.

Visiting my grandma in the hospital taught me two hard lessons: 1. We must not take anyone for granted for we know not the day nor the hour. 2. This is not the end for her. Although her jokes, laughter and smile will be greatly missed, I am so excited for her to meet our Maker, the One to whom she has been so faithful for all these years.

Dear Grandma, may our Blessed Mother watch over you and pray for you, now and at the hour of your death.