New Page!

Hey all! 

I just added a new page titled "Resources." It is mostly filled with links to my favorite modest shops, but also a couple other items as well, such as really great magazines. I will try and add more as I come across them. There are definitely more modest websites out there, but I feel these sites most closely line up with the vision of "Chased Clothing": being modest but also fashionable and current.

Take this dress from Allure Bridal for example, could this dress be any more perfect?!

What are your favorite modest site(s)?

Letters to the President: My Dreams as a Daughter

This is a response to the video "Letters to the President: The Dreams of our Daughters."

Dear President Obama,

I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a granddaughter and a friend. I am also a student at a private university.

Before pursuing my current dream of becoming a fashion designer, I dreamed of being a fire fighter, a professional singer, a WNBA star, and yes, even president.

Because I am neither ready nor willing to be faced with the possible outcomes of being sexually active--whether that be the level of intimacy that comes with this practice, an STI or a new life, I have exercised my right as a woman to remain abstinent until the day when my situation would allow or welcome those possible outcomes. For this reason, I will not and never plan to use birth control.

I would also strongly urge all other women to re-think their use of contraceptives. They are harmful on your body, the environment, and even your relationships. I am just lookin' out for my sistas.

If I were to make the decision to use birth control, I would not and could not expect my school or employer to pay for my personal decision, especially if it went against the conscience and longstanding teaching of that institution. These harmful drugs are neither the same price, for the same purpose, nor as common as cough medicine. 

If, and God-willing when, I have a daughter of my own, I want to be ready and fully willing to give her the life she deserves, in a country where women and girls are dignified and held as precious and where freedom of religion is a given. 

Please, Mr. President, don't you want the same for your daughters?

Bragging Rights

I am involved in a program on campus called "Catholic Studies Leadership Interns." This past weekend we had our beginning of the year retreat. In this program we are called "Young colleagues and professionals" and are expected to dress and act accordingly. Here is what I put together:

Top: Gordman's, Necklace: Target, Skirt: Forever 21

During this retreat we discussed the basics of what it means to be a Christian leader. As the Lord usually does, He spoke through our main speaker, Fr. Keating, on a topic I have really been struggling with lately: the gifts and skills we have been given. To be a leader is to lead through the skills and gifts you have.

Before this school year, I thought using the gifts and skills you have was automatically bragging. I took on the mindset that using something I have been given that not everyone has would be like shoving it in their face that I have this and they don't. I would never want to make anyone feel bad about that, but perhaps more importantly on my mind was that I didn't want people to judge me for thinking I was "all that" with these skills. 

However, my amazing friends, along with the talk I heard this weekend, have really opened my mind to the reality and purpose of gifts and skills. Let's face it, we all have been given different gifts, skills, desires and traits. Some have a knack for musical instruments, some have a mind for mathematics, some really understand and appreciate science, others are very loyal and hard-working in less desirable fields, and still others are great companions to those in need. Whatever we have been given, it is our duty to use and express these gifts for others. We are not meant to keep them to ourselves or use them to promote self, as they will be corrupt, die and only produce pride in us. Rather, the purpose of gifts is to share them with others, especially with those who have not been gifted in this particular way. Further, to envy other's gifts is to miss the point of them. The gifts are not for ourself, but rather to share with others. Therefore, if another person has been given a unique quality, you should rejoice that the Lord has bestowed them with you because you can benefit from it!

One can truly add a lot to her community and society when she recognizes the skills she has, in addition to those she desires using (ex. You may have a mind for math but think it is ridiculously boring,) but especially recognizing, honoring and giving thanks to the Giver.

A great way to discover what you are good at is by trying new things, being open to suggestions and paying attention to compliments people give, or the tasks people regularly ask of you. Further, you will be doing a great service if you point out the gifts you see others possess.
If you are careful to share your gifts with others, not keeping them to yourself, recognizing where they come from, and do so with humility and not in self promotion, you are doing it right.

What gifts have you been given, and in what ways are you sharing them?

Gossip and the First Day of School

This is very belated, however a couple of weeks ago I had my sixteenth first day of school.

Earrings: Old Navy, Top: Old Navy, Shorts: Old Navy, Wedges: DSW

Can you guess my favorite store?

I was going through old notebooks and found this little number I wrote on "Gossiping vs. Venting." I wrote it last spring but it is still very relevent. I hope this helps you when you are conversing and catching up with friends you haven't seen all summer!

I am really good at gossiping. I have been doing it all my life. I thought it was a way to connect to people with whom I had nothing else in common. "We both don't like this person, let's bond over it!" Super messed up. I even noticed this is what a family member and I would do everytime we got together. And then I noticed that gossip was always on my list I bring into the confessional. I even thought for a while "This is just a part of me. The priest is just going to have to get used to hearing this and put me on the 'gossip-repeat-offender list.'"

I determined I needed to eliminate this habit for two reasons:
1. This is not good for my soul because I get in the habit of unjustly judging others and viewing them as less than myself.
2. This only destroys relationships, no matter how much I think I am bonding with the other person I am gossiping with. If they are willing to gossip with you, they will gossip about you.

However with that being said, I do believe a person should vent. It is very good and natural to be able to release anger, frustration, fear, questions, etc. Being able to confide in a friend or seek advice is a gift. But there are real differences between venting and gossiping.

In venting, a person gives the objective* facts of what happens. This is difficult because if you need to vent, your emotions are already high. However, try your best to stay objective. Refrain from including negative adjectives--especially about another person. Venting becomes gossipping when you put down or defame another person.

For example, Venting: I did not study well enough, therefore I did very poorly on my test today.
Gossiping: I did very poorly on my test today. My teacher is a jerk and is out to get me.

Venting: Veronica didn't say hi to me today and it made me feel unimportant.
Gossiping: Veronica purposely ignored me today. She always does stuff like this, it's probably because she thinks she is better than everyone.

When you bring in the subjective and put down another person, you are unjustly coloring a picture to your listener. Here is a list of things you can ask yourself if you would like to keep gossiping off your "confession list."

1. Would I want the subject of this conversation to know I am talking about them in this manner?
2. Am I betraying someone's trust by sharing this?
3. What is my intention is sharing this?
       Is it to seek advice on how to handle the situation?
       Do I want to be justified in my feelings?
       Do I have nothing better to talk about and think this is a way to relate to another?

Women by nature are relational beings. In general, we talk A LOT. It is how we best communicate and bond. This is a beautiful gift and one that should be used but also guarded to make sure we are always helping build others up, not tear them down.

Pinterest

As I stated before, I love Pinterest! You can follow me here.

I just wrote this article for a Catholic newsletter that gets distributed at local coffee shops in the Twin Cities. 

"The world has quickly become a more creative and crafty place thanks to the recent advent of “Pinterest,” an exclusive website where members can “pin” links to a virtual bulletin board to share with others on the Internet. Some popular boards are “Kids,” “For the Home,” and “Wedding.” Recently, I have found myself perusing the site. Upon spotting a sweet project to reupholster an antique chair, I thoughtMan, I can’t wait until I have a home of my own to do projects like this! Or similarly, I have come across a recipe to make homemade play dough for a fraction of the price of the real stuff, and I pin it to my “One Day- Kids” board.

The other day I was reading Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones’ book “Lady in Waiting.” The book tells the story of a young woman living on her own eating off paper plates every night because she was saving her fine china for when she gets married. However, she realized there is no guarantee she will get married, and it is possible that she will spend the rest of her life eating from paper plates. She would miss the opportunity to use her china if she waits for a wedding day that may never come.

I then made the connection that this is exactly what I have been doing with my Pinterest account. With almost every image I pin, it is followed with the thought I can’t wait until X happens so I can put this idea to use. But what is stopping me from engaging in these activities right now? Not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow. Not one of us is promised a wedding to plan, children of our own to play with, a home to decorate or a spouse to cook for.

I realized I should live in the here and now.Christ calls us to love those He has put in our lives right now. One way I can serve Christ by serving others is using the gifts, talents and desires I have been given. I can make that homemade play dough for my nieces and nephews. I can help my engaged friend make her fun do-it-yourself centerpieces for her wedding. That paint color I’ve been dying to try on my walls? Instead I can offer to paint something for my elderly neighbor. Instead of waiting for a husband to cook amazingly delicious meals for, I can use those great recipes on a mom who recently gave birth from Church or a family who just lost a loved one.

My life doesn’t start when I get married, or have kids, or buy a house. I can live my life serving Christ right now, by enjoying it and helping those put in my life at this moment. And if ever I get married, have kids and buy a house, I will have had a lot of practice."

Dating Advice from a Singleton

The irony of a single person offering relationship advice is not lost on me. My older brother passed on this gem of wisdom and it really has proven effective. Often times women on the Christian dating scene, myself included, get frustrated because

Woman- “There are no good single men left, and if there are, they never pursue me.”

Reality- Really? Didn’t Bobby just ask you to coffee the other day?

Woman- Well, yeah, but I’m not really attracted to him.

Reality- Oh, okay, how about Sam who invited you to that concert?

Woman- Well yeah but… he’s too quiet.

Reality- Hmm, and Kevin? Why did you turn down his offer to go dancing?

Woman- Oh Kevin? We’re not right for each other, it just wouldn’t work.

But how do you know?

One of the biggest mistakes we women who want to be pursued make is not accepting the pursuit!

1. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to walk up to a beautiful creation like you and ask you out. And despite the confident façade, guys can and will get discouraged if they are turned down too many times. This can and will cause them to put the brakes on and cease pursuing. Definitely not what we want.

2. There is no way to see what he is like in a one on one setting, which is how the majority of your time will be spent in a relationship,  if you are never one on one. Absolutely you should spend time in groups, and his actions with his friends, your friends, family members and even strangers are very telling about him and his character. But naturally there is a difference between interacting with one person, and interacting with many at once.

Example: Since receiving this advice I have been able to put it in to practice twice. First guy, I would have totally said no to because he just seemed…awkward. I was kind of uncomfortable talking with him…lots of awkward silences. But he was pretty persistent so I gave him a chance. And I was pleasantly surprised! We met, had a really great conversation and he was a perfect gentleman. The second time was very similar. I had been hanging out with this guy in groups for a while and he hardly ever talked to me, sometimes I wondered if he even knew I existed! He asked me out (huge shocker) and my friend had to remind me to take my brother’s advice and give him a shot. Again, I was proven wrong! He was able to carry on good and engaging conversation the entire night, and it seemed as if he was a different person!

3. So often you don’t get to know someone, the real him, until you have spent a good amount of time together, in a variety of situations, exploring a vast array of topics. First impressions…SUCK! Ahem, what I mean is, how many times have you been wrong about someone based on first impressions? Or someone wrong about you because they didn’t give you a chance? It is the same with relationships. Saying hello occasionally to an acquaintance, stalking them on facebook or even having a class with someone does not constitute getting to know someone; therefore you cannot know what he is like until you give him a chance!

“But Catherine, if I am not totally into him, and I accept his invitation, isn’t that leading him on? I don’t want to make him pay for me and spend time with me if I don’t know for sure if it will work out…”

1. Guys aren’t as sensitive to the “leading on” conundrum as women can be. If he is mature and in a healthy place to be pursuing a gal, he will know and understand that this is dinner, it’s not an exchange of vows, and no one is legally bound to anything just because he will open a few doors for you and share a few laughs. He will know and understand that this may be a one-time thing that doesn’t go any further, or it may go well and you’ll see each other again.

2. You are worth everything he spends on dinner and every minute of his time. Whether this is your last first date or your last date ever with him. If he wants the opportunity to get to know you, spend time with you, pursue something with you and the grace of your presence, his time and pocket change is surely worth it.

3. Again, it is certainly possible you are not already head over heels in love with him, or you may have never even considered him as an option romantically. However, now a door has been opened to see where it leads and you can either walk through to an adventure or slam the door in adventure’s face. If nothing else, my brother always reminds me, you get to dress up and get a free meal out of the deal ;)

We women are lovers of the romantic, fantastical world. However, we live in the awkward, ordinary world. Most stories of married couples began as just friends, and the story progresses plainly and unexcitedly. Although there are some instances of love at first sight (my brother-in-law felt this toward my sister), there are also instances where a person is totally not into the other at first (my sister toward my brother-in-law). And yet, by being open, adventurous, and willing to give a little on your idea of your perfect man and romance story, God can show you His perfect plan for you and your unique path to Holiness.