My Stylist, Kristy

Even though I love fashion and everything about clothes, I too often neglect the other important aspects of a woman that make her look complete: accessories, makeup and HAIR! Until recently, that is.

Last summer my hair was just looking terrible, "scraggly" is my term for it, so my friend recommended a gal she went to high school with. I visited her website to check it out, and saw an awesome deal where if you do a "cyber consult" with her, you get 50% off the first cut! So I sent Kristy a photo of myself, a couple pictures of celebrities that I liked and she e-mailed back a few of her own ideas. If nothing else, I would go get my haircut and get a good deal.

BUT IT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!

1. She has a little salon in her home that is SO CUTE! I want my whole house to have her salon's decor--not to mention I love the smell of the products she uses.
2. She is SO great! So cute, so nice, so real and so Mormon which equals fabulously modest.
3. She is a really talented hair stylist. She knows what she is doing and what she is talking about, but perhaps more importantly she knows how to deliver that look you want. While going with short hair my biggest concern has been to remain feminine, and she not only understood and recognized this desire but has also held to that standard.

A conversation I keep finding myself participating in lately is about the fact that we need good, Christ-following people in every area of life, even seemingly non-Christian fields, specifically and even especially in the fashion and beauty industry. Kristy is a perfect example and witness of this. When I go get my hair cut, it is not just a get in and get out kind of thing. We talk a little about faith, a little more about family and a lot about fashion. It is refreshing to have positive and uplifting conversation with her. Also, a really unique quality to Kristy is that she is so encouraging and inspiring, every single time I walk out of her salon I feel reassured, rejuvenated and more confident than ever, ready to take on what the week ahead will throw at me. I never knew a hair stylist could do that!

The most recent style plunge I have taken is getting a pixie cut, and I have never gotten more compliments in my life. I am tellin' you, Kristy is a rockstar!

The lovely Emma Watson was the latest inspiration.

What "style plunge" have you been dying to take?

I Will Wait

Along with Pinterest I also really love Etsy. I am so surprised and saddened that more people don't know about Etsy and if you don't, you've come to the right place. Etsy is a sort of e-commerce website where people can sell handmade items and all things crafty. I have bought a chain, a necklace, fabric and notions for my designs and a ring on etsy. I have been very satisfied with all of it. My post today is to showcase the ring I bought. I have owned two purity rings in my life, both of which I have lost. This was my third attempt at buying one but this final time I went about it a little differently.

My understanding of a purity ring was that it had two main purposes.
1. To be a sign of your commitment to remain pure and abstinent until your wedding day.
2. To remind you of this promise, especially in times of struggle and temptation.

Well, by the time I was ready to buy my third ring, I felt neither of those purposes applied to me anymore. I didn't need a ring to be a sign of this commitment. I knew I was commited to this, anyone who knew me knew I was committed to this, and anyone who didn't know me would surely see this by my lifestyle. An expensive but pretty piece of metal was unessecary. Second, since the first time I made the decision and commitment to remain pure, I never experienced a situation that lead to a time of struggle or temptation in that respect. Needless to say, something to remind me of that decision has not been very high on my priority list.

However, there was and still is something I struggle with every day: waiting for what the Lord has in store for me, particularly in regards to a man. I struggle with the idea that my goal in life is to find a spouse, and when that happens I will be finally fulfilled, satisfied and happy. However, not only will getting married NOT satisfy and fulfill my deepest desires, but it is also very possible that I will never get married--it is not guaranteed.

THEN I saw this incredible video by the brilliant spoken word artist Janette-Ikz and it has changed my life and given me so much hope and courage. It is hilarious and so true.

Thus the desire for my "I will wait" ring. I had the ring custom made from this shop on Etsy.

The outside reads "AMDG" which stands for Ad majorem Dei gloria, which in latin means "For the Greater Glory of God." On the inside it reads "I will wait."

This ring is a reminder to first give Glory to God, in all times, good and bad, and all seasons of my life. The second reminder is to wait for God's timing for all things, and for His Will to be done, not mine. This is my biggest daily struggle, not remaining pure.

So I challenge you, it may not be a ring, but set something in place to remind you daily to give Glory to God in all things, but also for His continued help in your struggles.

Letters to the President: My Dreams as a Daughter

This is a response to the video "Letters to the President: The Dreams of our Daughters."

Dear President Obama,

I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a granddaughter and a friend. I am also a student at a private university.

Before pursuing my current dream of becoming a fashion designer, I dreamed of being a fire fighter, a professional singer, a WNBA star, and yes, even president.

Because I am neither ready nor willing to be faced with the possible outcomes of being sexually active--whether that be the level of intimacy that comes with this practice, an STI or a new life, I have exercised my right as a woman to remain abstinent until the day when my situation would allow or welcome those possible outcomes. For this reason, I will not and never plan to use birth control.

I would also strongly urge all other women to re-think their use of contraceptives. They are harmful on your body, the environment, and even your relationships. I am just lookin' out for my sistas.

If I were to make the decision to use birth control, I would not and could not expect my school or employer to pay for my personal decision, especially if it went against the conscience and longstanding teaching of that institution. These harmful drugs are neither the same price, for the same purpose, nor as common as cough medicine. 

If, and God-willing when, I have a daughter of my own, I want to be ready and fully willing to give her the life she deserves, in a country where women and girls are dignified and held as precious and where freedom of religion is a given. 

Please, Mr. President, don't you want the same for your daughters?

Pinterest

As I stated before, I love Pinterest! You can follow me here.

I just wrote this article for a Catholic newsletter that gets distributed at local coffee shops in the Twin Cities. 

"The world has quickly become a more creative and crafty place thanks to the recent advent of “Pinterest,” an exclusive website where members can “pin” links to a virtual bulletin board to share with others on the Internet. Some popular boards are “Kids,” “For the Home,” and “Wedding.” Recently, I have found myself perusing the site. Upon spotting a sweet project to reupholster an antique chair, I thoughtMan, I can’t wait until I have a home of my own to do projects like this! Or similarly, I have come across a recipe to make homemade play dough for a fraction of the price of the real stuff, and I pin it to my “One Day- Kids” board.

The other day I was reading Jackie Kendall and Debbie Jones’ book “Lady in Waiting.” The book tells the story of a young woman living on her own eating off paper plates every night because she was saving her fine china for when she gets married. However, she realized there is no guarantee she will get married, and it is possible that she will spend the rest of her life eating from paper plates. She would miss the opportunity to use her china if she waits for a wedding day that may never come.

I then made the connection that this is exactly what I have been doing with my Pinterest account. With almost every image I pin, it is followed with the thought I can’t wait until X happens so I can put this idea to use. But what is stopping me from engaging in these activities right now? Not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow. Not one of us is promised a wedding to plan, children of our own to play with, a home to decorate or a spouse to cook for.

I realized I should live in the here and now.Christ calls us to love those He has put in our lives right now. One way I can serve Christ by serving others is using the gifts, talents and desires I have been given. I can make that homemade play dough for my nieces and nephews. I can help my engaged friend make her fun do-it-yourself centerpieces for her wedding. That paint color I’ve been dying to try on my walls? Instead I can offer to paint something for my elderly neighbor. Instead of waiting for a husband to cook amazingly delicious meals for, I can use those great recipes on a mom who recently gave birth from Church or a family who just lost a loved one.

My life doesn’t start when I get married, or have kids, or buy a house. I can live my life serving Christ right now, by enjoying it and helping those put in my life at this moment. And if ever I get married, have kids and buy a house, I will have had a lot of practice."

Neon and Standards

In sunny St. Paul today it got up to 92 degrees, and tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter. Thanks August...

tank: h&m, necklace: thrifted, shorts: j. crew, flats: j. crew

It is amazing how the word "modesty" can have so many diverse meanings to so many people, loaded with passion and emotion, anger, disgust, solace and joy. It is also amazing how time, age, experiences and acquaintances can drastically change one's view and definition of a word. I am one such person who has had a change of heart so to speak. 

I was the stereotypical high schooler who thought she knew EVERYTHING. "Man, God has just gifted me with the special knowledge and wisdom to know exactly what modesty means, and anyone who really cares about modesty and their faith will have the exact same way of practicing this 'virtue'." WOW, how naive and ignorant can a person be?!

I just watched the movie "There Be Dragons" which is about St. Josemaria Escriva and the persecution of the Church in Spain. There was a line he said that really spoke to me. Josemaria's brother was asking how a true Catholic would proceed in the persecution of the Church, would he fight back or be a martyr? Josemaria responded that God has given each man reason, intellect and freedom to be able to make moral decisions based on his knowledge, and that he will be responsible for those decisions. How beautiful! There is no cookie cutter way for a woman to live out and practice modesty. She can practice her reason and free will to live out her modesty in the best and most true way she can.

So how do I practice modesty? It will undoubtedly vary from other women, but I have a couple rules I usually like to follow.

1. No butts, guts or coconuts. 'Nuf said.

2. I like to wear straps that are at least 1-inch wide, that way all undergarments are concealed and I know my top or dress will not fall down.

3. If a shirt is so tight that one can see the contours of my not-so-flat abs, no thanks.

4. I don't wear knit pants/shorts/leggings/skirts/spandex. Too clingy.

5. I have found that I like shorts that have a 7in. inseam. They are just most comfortable for me. However, I do own a couple 5in. inseam shorts, they just ride up a little when I sit down.

6. It's hard to have a rule about skirts/dress lengths because lots of things need to be factored in: the flare of the skirt, the fabric of the skirt, if leggings/tights are being worn underneath, and what shoes are being warn. A sure test, however, is if my skirt is shorter than the biking shorts I wear underneath it, it's got to go.

These many factors are going to vary greatly between women because of cultural standards, the way you were raised, personal comfortability, your height (or lack thereof), etc.

Perhaps most important of all, though, is the way a woman carries herself- in speech, conduct, and thought. While the body must not be neglected, neither can the soul.

Dating Advice from a Singleton

The irony of a single person offering relationship advice is not lost on me. My older brother passed on this gem of wisdom and it really has proven effective. Often times women on the Christian dating scene, myself included, get frustrated because

Woman- “There are no good single men left, and if there are, they never pursue me.”

Reality- Really? Didn’t Bobby just ask you to coffee the other day?

Woman- Well, yeah, but I’m not really attracted to him.

Reality- Oh, okay, how about Sam who invited you to that concert?

Woman- Well yeah but… he’s too quiet.

Reality- Hmm, and Kevin? Why did you turn down his offer to go dancing?

Woman- Oh Kevin? We’re not right for each other, it just wouldn’t work.

But how do you know?

One of the biggest mistakes we women who want to be pursued make is not accepting the pursuit!

1. It takes a lot of guts for a guy to walk up to a beautiful creation like you and ask you out. And despite the confident façade, guys can and will get discouraged if they are turned down too many times. This can and will cause them to put the brakes on and cease pursuing. Definitely not what we want.

2. There is no way to see what he is like in a one on one setting, which is how the majority of your time will be spent in a relationship,  if you are never one on one. Absolutely you should spend time in groups, and his actions with his friends, your friends, family members and even strangers are very telling about him and his character. But naturally there is a difference between interacting with one person, and interacting with many at once.

Example: Since receiving this advice I have been able to put it in to practice twice. First guy, I would have totally said no to because he just seemed…awkward. I was kind of uncomfortable talking with him…lots of awkward silences. But he was pretty persistent so I gave him a chance. And I was pleasantly surprised! We met, had a really great conversation and he was a perfect gentleman. The second time was very similar. I had been hanging out with this guy in groups for a while and he hardly ever talked to me, sometimes I wondered if he even knew I existed! He asked me out (huge shocker) and my friend had to remind me to take my brother’s advice and give him a shot. Again, I was proven wrong! He was able to carry on good and engaging conversation the entire night, and it seemed as if he was a different person!

3. So often you don’t get to know someone, the real him, until you have spent a good amount of time together, in a variety of situations, exploring a vast array of topics. First impressions…SUCK! Ahem, what I mean is, how many times have you been wrong about someone based on first impressions? Or someone wrong about you because they didn’t give you a chance? It is the same with relationships. Saying hello occasionally to an acquaintance, stalking them on facebook or even having a class with someone does not constitute getting to know someone; therefore you cannot know what he is like until you give him a chance!

“But Catherine, if I am not totally into him, and I accept his invitation, isn’t that leading him on? I don’t want to make him pay for me and spend time with me if I don’t know for sure if it will work out…”

1. Guys aren’t as sensitive to the “leading on” conundrum as women can be. If he is mature and in a healthy place to be pursuing a gal, he will know and understand that this is dinner, it’s not an exchange of vows, and no one is legally bound to anything just because he will open a few doors for you and share a few laughs. He will know and understand that this may be a one-time thing that doesn’t go any further, or it may go well and you’ll see each other again.

2. You are worth everything he spends on dinner and every minute of his time. Whether this is your last first date or your last date ever with him. If he wants the opportunity to get to know you, spend time with you, pursue something with you and the grace of your presence, his time and pocket change is surely worth it.

3. Again, it is certainly possible you are not already head over heels in love with him, or you may have never even considered him as an option romantically. However, now a door has been opened to see where it leads and you can either walk through to an adventure or slam the door in adventure’s face. If nothing else, my brother always reminds me, you get to dress up and get a free meal out of the deal ;)

We women are lovers of the romantic, fantastical world. However, we live in the awkward, ordinary world. Most stories of married couples began as just friends, and the story progresses plainly and unexcitedly. Although there are some instances of love at first sight (my brother-in-law felt this toward my sister), there are also instances where a person is totally not into the other at first (my sister toward my brother-in-law). And yet, by being open, adventurous, and willing to give a little on your idea of your perfect man and romance story, God can show you His perfect plan for you and your unique path to Holiness.

Bible in 90 Days

I love Pinterest. You can follow me here. One day I noticed a pin that was not like the usual outfits and recipes I see, it looked like this: 

I was intrigued. I followed the link to see where it went, and I was sold. I signed up with a program to read the Bible in 90 days and I'll tell you what...it has been fantastic! I have never seriously read or studied the Bible before. The extent to which I am familiar with it is readings on Sundays, praying the Rosary and when my mom would curl my hair in high school she made me read out loud from the Bible. But never have I taken it upon myself and seriously read it through. 

My best friend recently left the Catholic Church and has had an extraordinary awakening of her faith that has lead her to cling to the Bible: it's teachings, prayers and stories. Our conversations now always consist of some aspect of the Bible, and I am ashamed at how little I can offer to the discussions. What perfect timing to delve into The Word!

It has been a real Blessing to have a structured schedule, and because I am signed up in a program, the other gals in my group pray for me and hold me accountable.

It is so exciting to read about history, but especially Our Lord, and it is so refreshing to be completely unplugged for at least one hour a day.

Today is day 6. So far I am going strong, but I am sure as time goes on it will get tough. Please keep my group members and I in prayer as we travel this journey together.